With a couple hours to kill, we meandered to the info booth, and asked for suggestions. “You could go to the waterfront. There’s free shuttles just out those doors.” Between that and sitting around in the damned airport, the next minute saw us awaiting a shuttle, and we were soon under way.
Stepping off the plane, we were ushered to the gates of Fortress America. Amazingly, as we gathered into two immense, concentration-camp-esque ques down a seemingly endless airport hallway, an airport staff woman with a Chinese accent so thick you could fry dumplings in it, continuously shouted into the crowd, “Don’t worry! Be happy! You’re in America now!”
We boarded our plane, reluctant to leave Japan, and at length took our seats. As it turned out, we were magically selected to operate the emergency exit in the event that our chances for survival (and also possibly the plane itself) should take an unexpected nosedive.
3:57am: Catch MAX train to airport
4:27am: Eat banana and dry cereal. Attempt not to be tired. Fail.
4:44am: Arrive at airport. Find United Airlines. Proceed through check-in rigamarole.